Things to Discuss with Your Partner If Your Relationship is Falling Apart

Sep 04

There will always be that time when you’ll question where your relationship is going. Sometimes it can feel like the relationship might end sooner or later. Other times you just know there are still ways to save it. Either way, you’ll have to discuss the situation with your partner one way or another.

Why or how you were hurt

Mostly, you’ll feel that the relationship is going downhill when your partner keeps hurting you be it physically or emotionally. Of course, you’ll have to lay it all out! In some cases, you’ll also have to say how your partner hurt you. This is because there are a lot of people who don’t know they’ve been making a lot of mistakes already. No matter how you put it, this is something important to discuss before the breakup, or if you’re looking to make your partner change.

The things you are willing to do

On the other hand, if your partner tells you about your mistakes, tell them about the changes you are willing to make. If you’re sure that you still want to stay with this person, you’ll have to discuss how you can fix your actions and how you can bounce back in your relationship. Listen to each other’s sentiments and adjust accordingly. Of course, if what you did was beyond forgiveness, you can’t really expect the other person to be too understanding.

Figuring out what you need in the relationship

Sometimes what you need from the relationship will prove if you will stay together or not. In many cases, one person becomes dependent while the other one doesn’t think much about the relationship at all. That’s why it is important to discuss and make clear what you both want and need in the relationship. The thing is though, this is one of the hardest things to do. Especially if both of you have different needs already.

Discuss the lack of effective communication

Another very common reason why relationships fall apart is the lack of communication. It’s already obvious that things will go badly if you rarely talk to each other anymore. But there are also times when even if you do talk a lot, you’re not exactly “communicating” with each other. One simple example is when your partner keeps changing his/her story. It’s easily because of this that your relationship turns sour. That’s why you’ll have to talk about it eventually.

Talk about all the good things

Lastly, if you feel that the relationship can still be saved, talk about the good side of your relationship with each other. This is simply because when you’re having a rough time together, it becomes easier for you to see the other bad points in your relationship. So, seeing a bit of the positive side can at least help you see better. On the other hand, if it really is leading to a breakup, then at least you can have better closure.

Read More

How Your Relationship Can Affect Your Mental Health (And Vice Versa)

Jan 29

Researchers have shown that strong relationships not only greatly contribute to our physical well-being, but also to our mental and emotional health. Being in a relationship is known to reduce stress, and couples that have been together for a long time have been known to have longer life expectancies.

This is one of the reasons why people seek out relationships in the first place. Even though establishing an emotional connection with another person can be scary, this is how we form lifelong bonds. Intimate body-to-body contact or sex is how adults establish this connection with each other.

Open, honest communication is the key in any healthy relationship, as well as constant support and encouragement that couples must give each other. The latter is especially crucial when either partner is difficult to deal with or has a mental illness that may or may not be clinically diagnosed by a psychologist in Singapore.

However, as much as the benefits of being in a relationship entice us to look for that special someone, there are times that the relationship itself can be a driver of stress, which then develops into anxiety and depression which can affect the overall well-being of both partners in the relationship. Before this happens, the couple should consider seeking relationship counselling Singapore from a recommended psychologist.

How Relationships Affect Physical Health

It’s a commonly held belief that couples tend to gain weight once they settle into marriage and then lose that weight once the marriage ends in divorce or separation.

However, there are other factors that could influence this weight gain. For instance, dissatisfaction in the relationship if you do not visit a psychologist like Singapore center 4 psy it can cause stress, which can lead to unhealthy coping mechanisms such as changes in both eating habits and sleep behavior.

This in turn can become an unhealthy cycle that could influence and result from this said satisfaction, which, when compounded by the stress in the relationship, may lead to health problems.

The physical aspects that manifest during a relationship are often symptoms of deeper running issues within the relationship. Put simply, stress caused by misunderstandings and a lack of open, honest communication can go a long way. A consultation with a psychologist in Singapore will be likely to uncover these issues and discuss them with both partners at length.

How Relationships Affect Mental Health

Relationship stress affects both partners not just physically, but also mentally. This can take several forms, from constant anxiety to lowered overall self-confidence and self-esteem, which can carry over to the physical aspects of the relationship.

Depression and anxiety often go hand-in-hand. For instance, couples in a healthy relationship will often find themselves eased of the symptoms that cause them and find dealing with them easier. However, partners that already have symptoms of depression and anxiety can find these illnesses to contribute to and compound even more when placed under the relationship’s stress.

A lot of relationship problems are often caused by simple disagreements compounded by a lack of communication between partners. These simple disagreements may be buried, but can grow into later resentment that would erupt during arguments or at a session during relationship counselling Singapore, which can negatively affect the couple’s mental and emotional well-being.

How Mental Health Affects Relationships

Though relationships can negatively impact mental health, the reverse is also especially applicable and potentially more impactful if left unchecked. When both are at play, this results in a feedback loop that reinforces these mental health disorders.

What you would think of as “acting out” or being simply difficult to deal (e.g. annoying habits or with may be symptomatic of a larger problem. Mental illnesses, such as chronic or clinical depression, can complicate this process, as this can cause you to push others away without you knowing it.

There are over two hundred different types of mental disorders, which makes diagnosing them yourself difficult and inadvisable. This is best left to a licensed psychologist in Singapore who is able to determine whether you or your significant other may indeed suffer from a mental illness as well as how to treat it effectively.

There are, however, are a few common symptoms of mental health that you or your partner might want to watch out for, such as:

• Constant feelings of sadness
• Reduced ability to concentrate on the task at hand
• Excessive fears, worries, or guilt
• Extreme mood swings
• Withdrawal from social activities and hobbies
• Inability (or reduced ability) to cope with stress
• Trouble understanding situations and people
• Substance abuse
• Changes in sleep and eating habits
• Changes in sex drive
• Excessive anger, hostility, or violence
• Suicidal ideations
• Self-harm or deliberate self-injury

Some symptoms can also appear as physical problems, as mentioned earlier, and can range from stomach pains, back pains, or even migraine.

How You Can Improve Both Your Relationship and Your Mental Health

The good news is that these symptoms, when caught early, are treatable by scheduling regular consultations with a recommended psychologist. Seeking relationship counselling Singapore, for some, may in fact be the best thing that could allow them to walk out as better relationship partners more open and understanding of each other.

However, you should keep in mind that even though consultation with a psychologist or a therapist can help to rebuild trust and strengthen the relationship between partners, counselling usually takes more than one session in order to experience its full effects. Whether they are joint sessions or individual sessions, be sure to take this time and allow the therapist to help you.

Read More

How to Be Friends with Your Ex Again

Jun 19

Although breaking up with your significant other isn’t the most fun thing in the world, it doesn’t have to be the worst thing either – especially if you’re planning to remain friends with your ex. With that in mind, we listed down some of the easiest and healthiest ways on how you can stay friends with an ex-lover.

1. Mourn Your Breakup Quietly

After a breakup, it can be quite tempting to say the meanest things or cry in front of your ex. However, doing any of these things will only make it impossible for you to be friends later on. Do everyone a favour by mourning your breakup in private, so as to avoid looking like you’re such a bitter ex.

2. Allow Them to Move On

Although this won’t be easy, learn to give up any feeling of jealousy as they start dating someone else. The most difficult part of breaking up is realizing that you no longer have his heart, but the healthiest way to stay as their friend is to watch him move on and love again.

3. Avoid Talking About Your New Relationship

As much as you want to talk about your new love life with your ex, avoid doing so as it’ll only result in jealousy and resentment. Keep yourself from name dropping your new guy, or talking about the movie that you watched together. It might make you feel bad for hiding it to your ex, but keep in mind that it’s for the greater good. After all, you certainly wouldn’t want to hear any news about his new girl.

4. Be Happy for Them

You know what makes friendship such a great thing? Being genuinely happy when a friend starts making positive in their life. So even if you want your ex to be sad without you, show him your support whenever something good happens in his life.

5. Keep Everything Fun and Casual

When you’re trying to be friends with an ex, avoid hanging out in some romantic wine bar as much as possible. Keep everything completely platonic and stress-free by visiting a farmers market or playing bowling instead. That way, you’ll enjoy each other’s company without feeling like you’re on a date.

Being friends with someone you were crazy in love with is never easy, but it’ll definitely be worth it if you parted ways amicably and still care enough for each other. With this, you get to keep the person you once loved around, while being open to potentially meeting a new love.

Read More

5 Ways to Ex-Boyfriend-Proof Your Place after Your Breakup

Jun 02

You’ve broken up and you’re doing your best to get over him, but almost all the places you go to just reminds you of him – even in the safest area of your flat. Luckily, you can already make moving on easier by ex-boyfriend-proofing your place through these six easy ways.


  1. Delete All The Digital Memories. Understand that your computer and your phone are parts of your place, which is why deleting all of your exes’ emails, texts and digital memories are important to ex-boyfriend-proof your home. Keeping those old messages and reminders around will only make moving on a difficult thing to do.
  1. Rearrange Your Space. Reordering your place after going through a breakup is often necessary, especially if you spent most of your time together in your place. Put a clear distinction between the now and then by rearranging your bedroom or living room setup. While doing this may be a bit sad, take it as a chance to redecorate and declutter your space.
  1. Replace Your Home Items. Moving on from a relationship requires you to deal with memories that you associated them with, and this is true with the area where both of you often slept in the past. So go ahead and replace your old sheets, towels and comforter with a new one to remove those memories as well. While affording a new couch is still impossible for you, getting a new set of pillowcases and bedspread is already enough to get that feeling of starting anew.


  1. Keep The Things Worth Holding On To. Be sensible on the things that you’ll dump after your breakup because this may seem unbelievable, but the time where you’d want to have the items that he gave you will definitely come. Keep the things that you think are worth holding on to or the things that have some value like a furniture or a painting.
  1. Believe That Everything Will Get Better. We understand that you’ve gone through a depressing breakup, but it’s also important that you acknowledge that things will get better as well. Although it may not feel like it yet, you’ll eventually feel like taking small steps toward healing and moving on.

Moving on is definitely easier said than done, but by doing the aforementioned tips, you’ll eventually get over your memories as a couple and learn to live on your own again and move forward.


Read More